I know I should be grateful but...

I am so completely beyond miserable sitting at work all day that I can't even get anything done.  Yes, I am even writing this as a way to burn up another 10 minutes of the slowest moving time of the day.

I hate sitting here.  I hate the droning noise of the people around me.  I hate the meetings and the pointless chatter.  I hate the mission statement and the vision statement and the statement statement.

I don't belong here.  I wasn't supposed to spend my years editing PowerPoint slides and pretending to give a shit about road alignment or carrying capacity or buffers or whatever other nonsense that has been filling my head over the past 3 years.

I couldn't be more bored.  I couldn't be more jaded.  I couldn't be more screwed...because there is nothing I can do about it.  No where else to go.  And I'm too tired to go looking anyway...and the truth of the matter is that I don't want to find anything else.  All the other jobs will be exactly the same...they all are just one long soul suck.

It's a crime and a shame that I spend more time with these other so-called "professionals" than my own child.  I see my child for about 5 hours everyday vs. the 8-10 I spend with my coworkers and let's not even talk about the 2 hours stuck in a car everyday.

Sigh.  I don't have any answers.

I don't have any plan. 

But damnit...do I ever need one.