Best Weight Loss Solution Ever!

I've found the secret to easy weight loss...just follow these 7 simple steps:

1. Have baby.
2. Send said baby to daycare.
3. Wait for baby to accumulate all sorts of nasty viruses, bugs, and other assorted germs. 
4. Bring baby home.
5. Give baby tons of smushy kisses and let her feed you Goldfish crackers.
6. Contract ridiculously awful stomach virus that makes you pray to the porcelain gods so many times that you start to wonder if the bulimics have some sort of annual award for most vomit in 24 hours.
7. Lose 8 pounds (EIGHT! POUNDS!) in twelve hours. 

As an interesting side note...when we first moved to Florida I decided that I wanted to get the real behind the scenes at Disney...and since we weren't doing anything else...I got a job at Disney and worked there for a total of four days before deciding that Disney Cast Members are simply poor souls bound for sainthood and I quit.  But not before getting to do 2 days of Disney's "Traditions" training where they tell you all of the secrets and you get your engraved name tag and get to eat lunch at the Subway that's in the underground tunnel at Magic Kingdom and you learn all of the Disney lingo...including the phrase "Protein Spill" which is code for someone just tossed their cookies.  (I suggested they use some variation of "tossing cookies" and I got all sorts of dirty looks.)

So after a hellacious 24 hours...I'm sort of back in the game...except for the fact that I haven't eaten any actual food in two days and I look like some sort of Living Dead reject.

For a more complete weight loss plan you can send 4 3 easy payments of $19.99 to me...and I'll send over my child for a few hours...guaranteed to make you miss at least two days of work!

Comments

[Jane]

Were you ready for all the weight loss and dieting ads that you'll see on your google ads column? Google is so predictable sometimes.