Ah yes, the Monday Night Confession...how I have missed you. Just in case you forgot...Monday Nights are when I confess to something deep, dark, or possibly just annoying about myself.
This week...I just don't get it.
So on my way home from work today, I find myself sandwiched between two gigantic Hummers. Seriously? People still own these things? Really? It's easy to say that you shouldn't have one now...but even two or three years ago...how could you go to a car dealership...break out your step ladder...climb into one of those things...sit on a phone book...and say, "Yep, this is the one for me...it's just about damn perfect! What's it get...2 - 21/2 miles to the gallon? Who cares! Look how high up I am! The Peterson's down the street are going to shit when they see me driving this beauty around town! What color should we get? Hmmm...do you have any that are the color of piss after a four day binger? Honey, let's get you one so that we can have a matching set!"
I can't even say the name of the damn thing without cracking up. How do these people tell others that they own a blowjob mobile? (I can just imagine some of the inane jokes that come along with this, "Oh I've got a Hummer alright...and I'm not talking about the one that sleeps in the garage! Har Har Har!") I just can't get over how ironic the damn name is in relation to what I think of all these people. If I owned a Hummer I would have to refer to it in some other fashion...like my "this only makes up for some of my inadequacies" mobile or my "obviously I shouldn't be allowed to make important decisions and my vote in the next Presidential campaign should only be seen as a humorous suggestion" ride.
Something else I don't get...the back of one of these cars had a "Princess" bumper sticker. Really? Because you're really just stating the obvious over and over again now aren't you? There are only two types of people in this world who openly refer to themselves as having "Princess" attributes: 1) White trash and 2) The 12 year old daughters of white trash. The end. No one else is idiotic enough to be proud of the fact that they are brainless, spineless whiners who are simply waiting around for someone else to solve their problems.
Now if that's something to be super proud about...I just don't get it.
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