piecrust promises

That's big...

I just sent an email with the following sentence in it:

"I'm so freaking excited and nervous I could poop."

Big things are happening around here.  Big things indeed.

Whaattt? Seriously?

Have you all seen this?

Joel and I were sitting on the couch, watching Project Runway when that little gem appeared on our television screen.  I can't believe it isn't all over the blogosphere yet...

Are these people serious?  This whole commercial (and the website http://sweetsurprise.com/) seems to be a bit familiar...like tobacco company familiar.  Fine in moderation?  Seems like you can't read any label without high fructose corn syrup being at the top of the list...it's everywhere.  The only way to avoid the crap is by buying whole, natural food products and making things from scratch.

Americans eat more corn and more corn by-products than any other group of people in the world.  We also are the fattest and most disease ridden...and those numbers have only been skyrocketing in the last fifty years or so...right around the time that we started to chemicalize the shit out of our food.

I'll be totally honest here...my household isn't going to win any awards or be the poster family for healthy eating.  I love fried high fructose corn syrup covered in trans fat, sautéed in MSG, and then sprinkled with red dye #40 just as much as the next girl...but intuitively...I know this isn't the stuff I should be shoveling into my loved ones.

So then how can I get snarky about this ad without coming off as a complete hypocrite?  Because anytime a group of people get together and try to lull me into some ridiculous false sense of security over a product that you'd have to be a complete idiot not to know isn't good for you...it gets my knickers in a complete twist. Plus, that woman is serving the cheapest, shittiest, generic knock-off brand of Kool-Aid ever...and that's just damn un-American.

What do you think of this campaign?  Are you running out to the store to stock up on high fructose corn syrup?  Or are you equally appalled?

So I was thinking...

...I wonder if there is a hand-size limit for dentists.  I mean, think about it...you can't have giant man-hands and still be able to get inside of someone's mouth...there's only so much room in there.

I wonder if the application for dental school goes something like, name, address, why do you want to be a dentist, are you aware of the high suicide rate, and then finally, in the space below please trace your hands.

And then the poor kid with monstrous hands receives the rejection letter back..."We are sorry to say that you have not been accepted to Drill U. due to your abnormally large hands...however we have recommended you to our sister school, Beefy State, where you can begin your career as a lumberjack."